I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
