I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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