Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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