I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
