also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
