Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
