I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
