i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
