The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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