But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
