So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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