erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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