New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
