Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize