doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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