We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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