I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
