i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
