found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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