IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
