its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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