He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
