My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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