Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize