dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
