Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
