I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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