yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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