Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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