Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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