go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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