Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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