i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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