dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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