I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
