hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
