Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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