i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
how do you play pong handcuffed?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize