I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
