dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
