my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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