Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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