I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Farmville is her only friend.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
