First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
