Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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