So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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