my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
