did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
