doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
