I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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