I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize