fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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