So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
