Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was like eating out sand paper
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
