The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
