I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
