I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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