You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
