no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize