Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
