Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize