how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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