u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
where does the pee come out of this thing
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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