You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
