i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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