I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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