Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
